For Better or For Worse
"Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough"- Patty Smyth and Glen Burtnik, 1992
Rag and Bone man, Khiew Chee Keong, who proposed to his girlfriend in The Sunday Times two weeks ago, has blown his chances at happiness.
As expected, Ms. Sally Khoo, principal of a childcare centre, has backed off because of the sudden publicity surrounding her relationship with Mr. Khiew. To date, she hasn't given him a firm answer and Mr. Khiew should well prepare himself for the inevitable.
It is anyone's guess as to what possessed Mr. Khiew to go public with his proposal. In life, we all aspire to greater heights of achievement and success, both in our careers and private lives. Everyone deserves a chance regardless of circumstance and everyone is entitled to achieving their potential.
Given the status placed on professions in society, Mr. Khiew was hoping to make good in his personal life in spite of his former profession as a rag and bone man. Though it isn't established as to what his new "nine-to-five office job" is, there is an inescapable comparison between what is considered worthy and what is not.
These judgements are seldom charitable. Though there are some who would highlight Mr. Khiew's contributions at a youth group, voluntarism is not prized as an asset in a society that places status above all else. As expected, the public and Ms. Khoo's family on both sides of the Causeway have been, at best, less than supportive.
For Mr. Khiew, in taking a private matter public, has thrown the unpleasant spotlight and burden on Ms. Khoo, leaving her with very little room to maneuver. Mr. Khiew's selfishly motivated actions were designed to show everyone that he too, could succeed in love. But this was done at the expense of Ms. Khoo's right to choose. If both of them had decided to go public after agreeing to marry, that would have been different. Negative public sentiment and family opposition aside, at least they would have made their decision as two equal partners.
Going forward, it seems unlikely that the pair would have talked about marriage in-depth. That would explain Ms. Khoo's shock at his proposal. In addition, the equally surprised reaction of Ms. Khoo's extended family throws up the question as to how involved they really are, as they too found out through the newspapers.
However, both Mr. Khiew and Ms. Khoo are beyond these issues now.
For Ms. Khoo, Mr. Khiew's imprudent enthusiasm has painted her into a corner. To say 'Yes' or 'No' would damn her instantly in the eyes of the public as either a fool or a snob. Therefore, it is in the couple's best interest if the media ceased all coverage. Mr. Khiew should be wiser now to give Ms. Khoo the space she needs and not add to more public speculation.
In acknowledging that he had "made a very big mistake", Mr. Khiew may hope for a favorable outcome yet. However Ms. Khoo's cellphone-messaged reply requesting more time to think, is a prudent one. She should think very carefully about the kind of man she would be marrying.
posted by Teutoburg @ 4:08 PM
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