Verbalism Personified

Singapore Party Gripe?

Lately the local media has been going through another round of belly-aching about a Singaporean blogger who posted artistic nudes of herself. Enter Sarong Party Girl, Isabella Chen blogs about her life and relationships.

This should not raise any more eye-brows than sweat trickling down your forehead and most of the time I would have just ignored the negative criticism and kept on reading. But what an office colleague said to me today clearly demonstrates that good old Singaporean conservatism, though much alive and well, has been complemented by a new phenomenon. Double standards.

Colleague: Hey did you read about Sarong Party Girl in the news?
Me: Yes. I've been reading her blog for a while now. Why?
Colleague: You've been reading? She's so daring.
Me: What? That's nothing new.
Colleague: But she's putting her life on display for everyone to see.
Me: Why should this be a wonder? She writes very well and is clearly enjoying her life.
Colleague: But how can she do this? She's Singaporean! Her family must be so embarrassed!
Me: You mean it's ok for someone else to do this and not Singaporeans?
Colleague: I wouldn't do this.

Well that's your business if you won't. Just don't come saying to me what she can and cannot do. This is her life. Stop griping and get your own.

From all the negative press Ms. Chen has been receiving, there seems no end of the number of disgruntled people out there in need of a reality check. Now I don't blame the media for sensationalizing the whole issue. What better way to drum up circulation than to vilify a daughter of Singapore who happens to post nude pictures of herself and declare her dating preferences. This latest belly-hoo goes beyond the issue of foreigners taking jobs. We now have people griping about foreign talent on issues of sex, dating and relationships.

Now Ms. Chen ought to have known that her pictures and stories would raise hackles. With so much past-baggage vis-a-vis foreign talent, she would be naive to think that it wouldn't. True enough, this stirred up a hornet's nest of loathing from people resentful of the obvious cultural, social, economic and physical disparities. It didn't surprise me that people would comment on her nude photographs, or more likely arraign her for doing so. My colleague being the first example. But what's surprising is the inability of some, even after so much exposure to internet porn, to tell the difference between artistic and erotic photography. Though both feature nudes, they are different in how the body is presented.

The next contentious question is: why Caucasians? People ask me that too. As a man, my preferences in women are not unlike Ms. Chen's in men, albeit for slightly different reasons. Caucasian women are more articulate, opinionated and straight-talking in conversation. I find them more expressive, liberated and hence, interesting. The fact that they also happen to be better looking is a blessing. I'm not saying that local women are not or have none of the above. I've met some Singaporean women whom I would like to date. But having been brought up on a diet of blondes, redheads and brunettes, the appeal and turn-ons aren't quite the same. And yes i do admit, Caucasian women generally have bigger breasts, are real turn-ons in bed and have wider and more varied interests other than the eventually-boring shopping.

Now here is a nineteen-year old girl who is enjoying her life. She has like-minded friends, a bevy of career-successful Caucasian men to date. She is comfortable with her body and celebrates her sexuality. She is also expressively articulate. People need to be quiet and to leave her alone.

If you find yourself linguistically challenged, have trouble finding dates, much less getting the kind of sex that satisfies, unless you make an effort to change your life and your way thinking and looking at the world, ranting and raving about what another person does will not do you any favors. In fact, it makes you look petty and small.

If you feel financially inadequate and physically under-endowed, well that's too bad. Life isn't fair. If you are resentful or even jealous about her life and the choices she makes, then its likely that you've been in denial and sleepwalking through most of yours.

posted by Teutoburg @ 1:05 PM