Dealing the Hand
And talking about curved balls, I awoke two mornings ago with that all-familiar feeling in my gut. Seems that I've taken a fancy to someone I'd just met.Spending two whole days with her seemed ordinarily normal. Among other things like small talk, eating this, drinking that, walking here and looking there, there wasn't any inspirational epic in the making other than me wanting to get to know her.
So what happened? Was I struck by something cosmic? Ironically though, I remembered my comment about her once. Something about that stride in her walk. Something about the way she arched her sholders. Was she self conscious or is she a natural?
When A found out, in my last pathetic blurt-it-out confessions, I could feel the rod of rationality move down the miles of fibre-optic cable between us. A barrage of hard reality popped up on every line as I shuffled all the emotive excuses I could muster. "But.. But..!" I cried.
The differences in lifestyle and circumstance between me and this girl are startling. Totally different backgrounds and up-bringing. Not that I didn't know or see the situation for what it is. I needed, I guess I do every now and then, someone to shake me up and say "Now look here, boy!".
So here we are. Ain't attraction a funny thing? "What is it," I wondered? And I've been asking myself that a lot since those two days. Is it her unformed ways, her life of a blank-page-waiting-to-be-written with all the discovery and adventure? Or was the innocence of discovery that I had forgotten?
My approach to relationships has always been rational, long tempered by a life of practicality. What she reminded me of, was a time when I was just as unformed, just as fresh as a blank page waiting, just waiting for someone to come along and to show me all the joys of life.
posted by Teutoburg @ 3:40 AM
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